Do we need couples therapy?
Life is full of challenges, and all couples inevitably go through difficult periods in their relationships. Experiencing disagreements, arguments, and anger are all part of being in a relationship. For when we choose to let another person come very close, it brings about very intense emotions – both good and bad.
Perhaps you are facing significant changes, such as starting a family, and want to ensure that your foundation is strong enough to handle future conflicts. Perhaps you feel stuck in a destructive "spiral" where conflicts escalate, and the distance between you grows – both emotionally and physically. Perhaps you have experienced something so difficult (illness, loss, infidelity, or otherwise) that you cannot see a way out. Regardless of where you are in life, couples therapy can be what you need to move forward together in the best possible way. Recognizing that you need help is not a defeat; on the contrary, it is a brave decision that shows your relationship is worth fighting for, and that you are willing to do it together!
Why start couples therapy?
A faltering relationship often leads to loneliness, dissatisfaction, and negative thoughts. These are typically reflected in low self-esteem, lack of energy and zest for life, and ultimately depression. Conflicts in relationships are often an expression of deeper feelings such as not feeling loved, recognized, or appreciated, lack of trust and jealousy, or fear of abandonment. Through honest communication, you can become aware of your own and your partner's feelings, longings, and needs, and learn what it takes to fulfill them in yourselves and each other. When we make room for difficult feelings, we also make room for love and joy.
The goal of couples therapy is not only to strengthen the relationship between you, but also for each of you to develop and become stronger. When the relationship is experienced as a secure base, you also become better at standing on your own two feet.
How does couples therapy work?
When you start couples therapy, you tell me what you want to work on. You also decide whether you prefer to meet in person or online. As a starting point, both of you participate in all sessions. However, there may be cases where I find it beneficial to offer you individual sessions to delve into themes individually.
There is no set program you have to follow. We continuously evaluate your progress, and you decide how often and for how long it makes sense for you to meet with me. My general recommendation is that we meet every week, as you risk losing the progress in therapy if there is too much time between sessions. A typical course spans 8-20 sessions, but many couples choose to continue therapy for an extended period.